Trigger Warning – Miscarriage, Reproductive Health Issues

Singer-Songwriter Halsey announced that she is pregnant with a rainbow baby on January 27^th, 2021 via an Instagram maternity photoshoot. A rainbow baby is a term that refers to a healthy child born after losing a baby to a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. The term is meant to evoke the image of a rainbow after a storm, a light at the end of the tunnel. In this case, a baby born after a 3 miscarriage storm. But how 26-year-old singer Halsey overcame her many reproductive health issues and miscarriages?

Endometriosis

After years of being misdiagnosed and facing constant frustration, Halsey was diagnosed with the reproductive auto-immune disorder Endometriosis. Endometriosis is a disorder in which tissue that normally lines the uterus grows outside the uterus causing excruciating pain during the menstrual cycle, abnormal menstruation and in some cases, infertility. The 26-year-old singer has spoken frequently on the disorder since being diagnosed to help raise awareness for others like her with Endometriosis. She underwent 4 surgeries to help treat her Endometriosis.

“Finding out that I had endo was the most bittersweet moment because it meant I wasn’t crazy!” Halsey said. “I wasn’t a ‘baby!’ I had every right to be feeling like the world was caving in, but it was terrifying to find out.”

The Miscarriages

Halsey suffered a total of 3 miscarriages before this baby. A miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of a woman’s pregnancy before the 20^th week that can be both physically and emotionally traumatizing. All three miscarriages were heart-wrenching, but in 2015 the most difficult one she experienced was in the middle of a concert on her Badlands tour.

“Before I could really figure out what [the pregnancy] meant to me and what that meant for my future, my career, for my life, my relationship, the next thing I knew I was on stage miscarrying,” Halsey said. “The sensation of looking a couple hundred teenagers in the face while you’re bleeding through your clothes and still having to do the show and realizing in that moment that I never want to make that choice ever again of doing what I love or not being able to because of this disease.”

This event pushed her to freeze her eggs at just the age of 23. In hopes of one day having the family she longs for.

Manic

Halsey’s third studio album Manic was released on January 17^th, 2020. The album consists of 27 songs, all of which tell stories of Halsey’s life. She sings stories of pain and suffering, love and loss and the story of who she is. Most importantly is track 14 on the album, More. The song expresses her longing for becoming a mother and the obstacles caused by her reproductive health issues.

”They told me once nothing grows

When a house ain’t a home

Is it true, honestly

When it’s all a part of me?

A couple years of waiting rooms

Finding God and lose him too

Wanna scream but what’s the use?

Lying awake and I stare at the door

I just can’t take it no more

They told me it’s useless

There’s no hope in store

But somehow I just want you more

I want you more

Somehow I just want you more

I want you more

Somehow I just want you more

Wooden floors and little feet

A flower bud in concrete

Feeling so incomplete

Wonder will we ever meet?

And would you know it right away

How hard I tried to see your face?

A little screen, a photograph

Mine to take

I sit and I stare at your clothes in the drawer

I cry and my knuckles get sore

‘Cause I still believe it won’t be like before

Now somehow I just want you more

I want you more

Somehow I just want you more

I want you more

Somehow I just want you more

And when you decide it’s your time to arrive

I’ve loved you for all of my life

And nothing could stop me from giving a try

I’ve loved you for all of my life

Love you more

Somehow I’ll still love you more

Love you more

Somehow I’ll still love you more X2” – Halsey “More”

Rainbow Baby – The Miracle Pregnancy

Halsey has been very open with her fans that the one thing that haunts the singer is the possibility of never being able to become a mother. On January 27^th, 2021 Halsey announced via Instagram that she was expecting her first child with screenwriter boyfriend Alev Aydin. She received tremendous amounts of support from fans and celebrities alike such as Olivia Rodrigo, Ruby Rose, Perrie Edwards, and Kelsea Ballerini. Now her dog Jagger gets a little sibling!